PUKE (pyk)
Slang - The act of vomiting, hurling, barfing, losing lunch, tossing cookies, ralfing, throwing up, yacking, retching, technicolour yawning, spewing, blowing chunks, and/or other forms of physical illness.
Acronym - Phoenix Ultrarunning Kids & Elders. Old school long distance runners hailing from the Sonoran Desert of central Arizona. Membership requirements: Run long, but don't take it too seriously... seriously. Club symbol: Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Sunday, February 6, 2011

NEW RACE IN THE PUKE SERIES!

PUKE is proud to announce that it has partnered with a new, animal loving, tree hugging, vegan runner. To celebrate, the vegan offset of PUKE is hosting an amazing animal/human race.

P.E.T.A.A.N.J.W.C.D.D 50 Miler
(People for the Ethical Treatment of ALL Animals Not Just Whales Cats Dogs and Dolphins)

The good old dog 5K is, well, limiting. I would hate to discriminate against people that have pets that are not canines. Therefore, for all the ultra-animal-enthusiasts, this is a "bring your favorite animal" race. Word on the street is that Stephen Colbert is having a hard time choosing between his eagle and his bear. We heard that Karl Meltzer's been training in the backcountry with the Moose that chased him down at Bighorn. Who's knows, maybe Tony Krupicka will show up with one of those Mountain Lions that he's been chasing up and down Green Mountain?

This run will start from the Hawes Microwave tower. Runners must Bushwack approximtley 50 miles to the top of Thompson Peak. Use of trails is prohibited. Any runner or their animal caught on a trail will be immediately disqualified.

Rules:
1. No Muling. (however, mules are allowed).
2. You assume the risk involved running with a "wild" animal. If something fatal happens out on the course, well, that's what you get for really wanting to run with your pet tiger (too soon Siegfreid and Roy?).
3. Your animal must not hurt the other runners (or animals of other runners).
4. All waste must be removed from the course and carried to the finish line in our eco-freindly animal waste hemp sacks.
5. Runners with turtles and tortoises are given a 5-day head start.
6. Runners will be tied to their animals at the start with a 10-foot rope. In order to finish the race with "finisher" standing, runners must come to the finish line with the rope intact and their animal alive.


Awards
  • Biggest Load of Crap: The largest amount of animal waste picked up. This will be checked in at the end, and weighed, measured, and calculated by Arizona State's own Mathematics department (must be carried to the finish line in our eco-friendly hemp sack).
  • Most "wild"Shot: goes to the runner with the craziest animal picture.
  • Best scar: goes to the runner with the grossest animal bite.
  • Survival of the fittest: Goes to any runner that completes the entire race with an animal that has been deemed "dangerous" and comes back alive.
Run for the fun of running with your favorite animal, stay for the excellent Vegan Comfort food at the finish line.

We hope to see you out there!!

5 comments:

Jamil said...

Wow this is incredible. I'm going to choose a flock of eagles and fly right on over to Thompson Peak.

Jamil said...

P.S. That photo is incredible.

Paulette Jo said...

Jamil, if you choose a flock of seagulls, then I can play this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUjIA3Rt7gk as you finish!

james bonnett said...

ha amazing race! I will run with a goldfish. I hope it rains that day

Nathan Coury said...

I didn't see anything prohibiting riding the animal, so does that mean I can saddle up on my cheetah?

The original PUKE ultra. FKA the Hotfoot Hamster.

The original PUKE ultra. FKA the Hotfoot Hamster.
Kachina Relief 12 hour night run. Nick, Jamil, Matt, John, Nathan

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